Monday, February 28, 2011


Hello Ladies and Gentleman,
So sorry for the long delay in posts, but sometimes even i get busy at work.
After eating lunch with some friends of mine last week an interesting topic came up that I would like to propose.
This was not my original idea I am just expanding the Idea.

So we all know about shidduch dating. I have spoken about it in the blog, we all dream about it, basically we just cant get enough of the shidduch world. But just for a moment lets take a different type of setting up into our minds.

Every once in a while, we all need to relieve some sexual tension. Lets be honest, its all there. So instead of being set up on a date. Why not set up 2 friends that you think would be a great hook up. You know that in the end it cant work out, but they are two good looking people, who have been a little lonely lately and could use a nice stress relief. This is why we have created the JFFF, Just For Fun Foundation.

Take the shidduch resume and turn it into, how long its been since they have last been with someone. And take notes on what type of person they are attracted to.
We will also be taking applications for beds. After all not all peoples roommates will allow people of the opposite sex to sleepover, so If people are willing to lend out a bedroom for the night, we will be keeping an inventory. Especially for those kids that are still in YU and Stern we dont want to force them do be doing anything in the heights lounge or anything.
So for anyone interested in opening up their homes, to help out those less fortunate please let me know so I can start the database.
We will have special shadchanim who will try their best to set up people that will only be no string attached. We dont want anyone to start falling for one another on our watch, since that is not our goal.
To apply to the JFFF please email a photo of yourself, the date that you last got any, and what type of person you are looking for. We will allow for same gender requests as well.

FGOV's I know you are reading this, so when you are in your vacation paradise feel free to contact us then and we can hook you up.


Monday, February 21, 2011

Toilet Paper Trail

So just some random thoughts to think about at work today.
You guys ever see the commercial on TV where they talk about making the toilet paper without the cardboard center. They say that in a year the US goes through 17 billion rolls.
17 BILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!
That got me thinking. According to the US Census bureau, as of today there are
U.S. 310,863,075 people.
Now lets calculate this.
17 billion rolls.
12 months in a year, leaves us with 1,416,666,666.66 rolls per month. Approximately 1.4 billion.
Then lets average out 30 days in a month. Leaves us with 47,222,222.22. Approximately 47 million rolls per day.
Now we are saying that 310 million people using 47 million rolls
This means that it takes 6.58 people per roll per day of the year.
Lets really think about this for a minute. This is saying that every 6.5 people go through a roll in a day. Now I can tell you that seems a little insane to me. I dont know about you but I think that I am pretty regular when it come to going to the bathroom, and it take me more than 6.5 days to finish a roll of toilet paper.
So who is to blame for this issue.
Women I am looking at you. Us men are able to go to the bathroom many times during the day without using any toilet paper, we think about the environment when using a urinal. Do you think we enjoy using urinals. Do you understand the splash back capabilities of a toilet shaped in that manner? But we as protectors of the environment decide it is worth the risk.
But you women, do you actually care about our environment, Using up I would have to say at least twice as much toilet paper as the average man. Not only do you use toilet paper every time you enter the bathroom, but you also go to the bathroom more. you have to learn how to control your bladders. In a 3 hour car ride, there is no reason to stop twice for a restroom.
Just think about the children the next time you are using up one of the 17billion rolls of toilet paper in the world. What will be left for them if we kill all the trees and pollute the world with all the cardboard rolls.

Oh the Humanity.


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Today Show Top 10

Today's Edition will go through the top 10 snubs from the post about the top 25 eligible Jewish Bachelors by Johnathan Shenkman.

If you dont know what I am talking about, check out the post here.

These are the true bachelors that were left off, that are leaving the girls wanting more.
And I will add the Yeshiva's in Israel that they went to so you can see what the person is really like.

11. Myself (Gush)- I know this is not part of the top 10, but I had to include myself here. I dont want to rank myself in the top 10 otherwise people would think this blog made my ego even larger(which most people didnt even think could be possible), so Ill take the 11th spot here, even though we all know I should be number 1.

10. Michael Jared Sanders (N/A)- you may know him from the YU tennis team, or from being the productions guy at YU for the last 17 years. But this fellow want to be is a great man. After coming into our lives on Labor Day, he has been a great addition to the Heights scene. Only issue though, which is why you are down at the bottom.....Ladies, hes from Canada.

9. Asher Morris(Mivaseret) - This strapping man, is a paramedic and EMT in Atlanta. If you want your husband to cure you every time your sick, this is your man. Not only can he ride a bike for miles, while saving peoples lives, but he also is a coordinator for Active Minds. Always good for people to have active minds, you wouldnt want to be dating someone whose totally boring and mind doesnt work...right.

8. JB Hollander(Torat Chaim) - I know your reading this, dont pretend that your not. JB is probably the funniest guy you will ever meet. Ladies if you want to laugh for the rest of your life, this is you man. Not only did he run Dougie Dougs Cafe and Chop Chop, he also sports the jew fro to perfection. He has now taken his basketball and comedic stardom to Baltimore, where he is waiting for you girls to hunt him down.

7. Danny Krasna(Lev Hatorah) - We all know the Kras man. He even has a Shlock Rock song written about him, how cool is that. After fleeing YU and getting a degree from Queens, He is now living in Boca, where he has a job working at a bank. Big money ladies, if you are interested in the long distance.

6. Avi Gilboa(Eretz Hatzvi) - Lets be honest girls, we've all seen that you cant control yourselves around this guy. None of us guys will ever understand what it is, but he has "IT". His inability to feel pain, and amazing family values, leave you wanting more every time(as long as he doesnt have that disgusting mustache). He is now in the Israeli Army, where it will take a strong woman to finally get this wild beast to settle down.

5. Yedidya Silber(Ohr Dovid) - Well ladies, let your hearts out. Not only is this guy good looking, but he even gave up part of his body to save a life. He's always super tan, and now even teaches kindergarten kids. If that doesnt sound great then what does. He also is a graphic design artist so he design your future benchers and Ketubah for the wedding. he lives in florida, so you FGOV's better be ready for a vacation boyfriend.

4. Moe Abraham(Mivaseret) - Many of you reading this may not know him, but you should. Not only is he an avid reader of this blog, but he also a hell of a dodgeball player. He has experienced it all, from black hats to knit kippah so he has a great understanding of everyones beliefs. As our lone member on this list living on the upper west side, ladies you better move fast before hes gone.

3. Mike P For 3 Porcelain(Lev Hatorah)- You guys may remember him. He was one of the cool guys, Head RA of Morg, always make us laugh. Then he decided to make Aliyah. Although I hate him for that, I still love the guy. Who wouldnt want to get on this. Working for birthright, he can get you a free trip maybe. And after learning how to fix tanks in the army, nothing can stop him and his Fantastic abilities.

2. Matthew aka Matityahu Schwartz(Gush) - Well girls I know you've all been waiting for this one. The cream of the crop. Tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, smile of an angel. We all know hes the girls first choice. After becoming a General in the Israeli army and now basically running YU, he is the ultimate catch(yes I know hes still in YU, but hell graduate at some point). All i ask is give the rest of a chance before falling for him.

And finally our number one bachelor....Drumroll Please.
I know what you are thinking who can beat out Matt.

1. Ari Berkower(Gush) - If you dont know who this is, I wouldnt be surprised. I doubt he will read this either cuz if he dd he would probably kill me. But Berk is a great guy, finishing up Dental school at Columbia, this young man has finally met some Gentiles and is actually friends with them. Who would have ever though how much this child grew into a man. Hes got a great Jewfroh, and some really cute sisters out in staten Island.

I hope you Ladies check your resume's to see if anyone of these fine gents match your descriptions of a man. And then we can have a vote about whose list of eligible bachelors are more worthy of the title.

Until the next post, where I may or may not be ranking the most eligible ladies....
Peace out


Monday, February 14, 2011

Our Nations TRUE Crisis Pt. 2

Sorry I messed up the title of my last one. Prob should have been what i changed it to now, instead of true nations.

Now onto some more fun situations that I can relate to a lot more.
The more modern scene.
Anyone who has even spoken to someone single living in nyc knows about the situation. On the UWS and in the Heights there are countless amounts of single men and women all looking to get married, YET, nobody is. Everyone falls into that situation of the dreaded “FRIEND ZONE” dun dun dundun(gloomy music). We’ve all been part of it and witnessed it. Therefore, I wont waste anymore time talking about it, rather just make fun of the shidduch world of these ppl.
How often have you heard this situation happen to someone you know, or even yourself
“Hey Moshe, you know I was thinking I have the perfect girl for you”

“Oh really Shmuel, who? Whats her deal?”

“Well actually I don’t know her that well, but you are both tall, so I think it could work”

“Well you are both sphardi so I think it would be a good idea”

Or my personal Favorite
“Why don’t you go out with Esti?”

“Shmuel how did you even come up with that idea, why would you think that’s a good idea?”

“Well Moshe, I saw you 2 talking in shul, so I thought why not”

How is this what the world has come to. Two people are tall and therefore would be a good match. Or the fact that you can carry a conversation with someone from the opposite sex means you would be a good fit?????REALLY??????????????

If you actually want to set up a friend of yours, try to put some actual thought into things instead of just being stupid. And also this goes for both guys and girls, when asking a friend if they want to be set up with someone, make sure to put NO pressure on the person and give them an out. Because how many times has a friend tried setting you up with someone that you don’t find remotely attractive but yet you don’t know how to say No without hurting their friends feelings, so you make up the excuse of
“I’m actually trying to figure things out right now”,
or “im actually not dating now”.
Granted the girls just go on the dates anyway cuz they feel bad even saying that, go and get a free meal and then just turn the guy down for a second date.

Other fun situations for us modern folk, arise at the singles events. We’ve all been there done that as well, gone to plenty of singles events, either at shuls or friends parties or einstien casino nights. These events bring out a great group of people, they really do. You get a lot of diversity of different types of people. You get girls with skirts, pants, tshirts, sweaters. You get guys in jeans, shabbat clothing and you get everyone from the jocks to the creeps.
My issue with these events are that although they are setup so that you can meet new ppl and maybe hit it off, its almost impossible to do so. When you are in such a large crowd its very hard to focus on just meeting one person. Your eyes are always floating around looking for either someone better to talk to, cuz who knows who else is out there or just looking for that friend of yours that you know is there and you haven’t seen in 2 months. If you want to actually meet someone at an event like that it must all take place through a friend. Which sometimes does work out, but these are things that I think people need to realize when they go into events like that. Don’t expect to just go and meet the perfect match. If you do, you'll just get depressed that another event passed by and you failed again. Or get angry at events like this, and blame the system. Just take the events for what they are. Enjoy hanging out with friends and maybe you could come along 1 or 2 new people in the evening.

Again people reading this, I hope that whatever means you chose to find your bashert, you are happy with and everyone should feel comfortable doing whatever they like.

Cant we just go back to the good ol days, meet a girl at a diner, buy her milkshake, take her to a movie. Next thing you know you have spent 25 cents and you have a nice girlfriend. (hint hint, if anyone is interested in a milkshake and movie this week with me, let me know)

And for those of you reading this that may still be in YU or Stern you can just ride the Shiduch Shuttle every night. I heard that 60% of the time, it works everytime. And if that fails then you have the next 2 weeks to hit up the Seforim Sale over by YU. After that, may god help us all.


Friday, February 11, 2011

Our True Nations Crisis Pt. 1

It takes two to make a thing go right,
It takes two to make it out of sight
Hit IT!!!

Well Guys, I think that we all knew this topic would make the table at some point. So may as well get it out of the way now.

How can a group of Jews be discussing any topic without getting onto the shidduch crisis. I mean when you think about what we are going through her in New York City, I cant help but laugh at the “Troubles in Egypt”. I mean cmon, who cares about riots and the government there, when we are sitting here in Manhattan wasting away with good friends of the opposite sex never getting married, and living out our lonely lives while we spend all day working to hard to even think. We need to start focusing on this major issue, only then can we worry about the troubles of the world.
I will try to approach this topic from the men and woman’s side of things, as well as the more religious and more modern sides.
To start we will go with the more religious side of things. Not Sure if you all know, but when they say oh man that’s not gonna look good on your shiduch resume,
They are talking about a real resume!!!

This was News to me when I found out. I knew that people go to Shadchanim and tell them information about them in order for them to find a good match, but an actual resume that you can go around and hand out like you are looking for a job seems a little absurd to me. Imagine talking to your friend and the conversation goes like this

“Hi Faigy, how are you its been so long, are you seeing anyone?”

“Things are great Shprintza, living in the heights I have so many close girlfriends but no Im not dating anyone right now.”

“Well I may know some people, what type of guy are you looking for?”

“Hold on one sec….. let me just grab you a resume printed on pink paper sprayed with perfume that describes who I am perfectly and what type of guy I am looking for.”

“Ok great this looks perfect, I will pass this on to all my friends and you be married in no time”
“Thanks Shprintza you are the best”

I think that’s enough said on this topic. Onto the next one. The religious guys.

Now I’ll be honest. I really don’t know how things go down from this side that well, cuz lets be honest im not friends with many men that would fit into this category. From what I know/think, these guys will pretty much go out with any girl. As long as they fit the one quality of having a white tablecloth on Shabbat they are good enough to go on a date with. Then they pull off the classic, hotel lobby and a board game. We’ve all seen these dates taking place, and when they walk down the street making sure to have a car length between them.

If this is how you feel is the correct way to go about finding your bashert, then please continue doing so. I wish you all the best and hopefully soon enough you will not have to worry aboout this issue anymore.
If you think this way doesnt make sense then stay tuned for Pt 2, where I will discuss the more modern shidduch crisis and maybe thats where you fit in.
For a good read and laugh, heres an article about how much money the Star-K has given out for Shadchanim. Absurd. How is that at 22 women are considered old. I feel bad for you girls out there, I really do. Your biological clocks are ticking

If anyone wants a copy of my resume, please let me know and I can send it out.


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Germ Sandwhich

Today at work, one of my coworkers who was not feeling well yesterday, did not show up today because he was out on Jury Duty. Another coworker of mine we shall call her A, went over to go use his computer in order to use a specific program. However, before using it, she made sure to wipe the keyboard with lysol wipes and spray all the dust out from between the keys.
This got a whole discussion about germs started that I thought was really interesting, and of course I got a little riled up about.
After making fun of A. another coworker B started talking about what she does when she goes on vacation. B said that whenever going on a vacation she brings flip flops for the shower.
Anyone reading this that has ever gone to YU knows that flip flops are sometimes a necessity, and therefore I had no right to make fun of her for that since it is a completely valid worry.
We all have seen those documentaries on TV when they show footage of hotel rooms, and the sheets so we have all seen what can happen.
But then B kept going. She went on to say that when she is in a hotel she makes sure to bring Ziploc bags to put the remote controls in in order for her to use the TV.
Where does she think people are putting those remotes, I can think of some inapropriate places but none of them sound like it would be comfortable to place there.
Just try not to lick the remote when your hungry and I think you should be ok from catching the clap.
I couldnt help but make fun of her for this. How can you ever enjoy a vacation if you are always thinking wat germs may be on everything you touch.
Take New Yorkers for example. At first we all though it was gross to go on the subway. Everytime we touched one of those poles to make sure we dont land in the lap of a smelly homeless guy, we made sure to have purell on us at all times to clean up.
But after long enough you just kinda get used to it. Yes I know many of you still use purell after each subway ride, but all those others can admit, we jsut kinda gave in to the fact that if we didnt get sick last time then my purel bottle was empty then I wont get sick this time, Ill just wash my hands when I get home. Then you forget to do that also, you eat dinner and low and behold everything is fine in the end. You dont have an STD from the metal poll. (except for that one time)
Tell me if im wrong, and granted I have no scientific proof to this, but TRUE or FALSE there are more people nowadyas with allergies.?
I cant help but think the answer to this is true. How mnay people do you know that are allergic to Peanut Butter, or nuts, or have Oral Allergy Syndrome, or allergic to dust.
After doing a tiny and when i say tiny, i mean the size of a mouse's u know wat, I have learned that most allergies come from being exposed to somethign that you are not used to. If you are exposed to poison Ivy enough your body will just treat it like any other leaf.
We need to let our kids roll around in the mud all day. Force peanut butter when they are kids instead of thinking maybe they are allergic so we should keep it away from them.
I feel bad for all of you with allergies, I am sure it sucks, and there really is nothing you can do but just live with it and hope you dont find out your allergic to anything else. Who knows, you could be at a waterpark having a great time and then all of the sudden break out in hives and not be able to breathe and then noone can figure out what your allergic too.
Damn those Honey nut cheerios.
But just dont make things worse by preventing your body from being exposed to new things, theres only one way to learn if you will be able to handle the germs on a remote control, and trust me that is not by using a plastic bag.
You may as well walk around in a bubble all day. (bubble boy, awful movie)

Aight so not really sure why people will be entertained by this, but you never know. Just keep reading all the posts to make sure you dont become allergic to them. The more exposure to this the better, your body will build up the ability to find me funny and amusing.


Monday, February 7, 2011

Vacation Part 2 You can't see me Under My Invisiblity Cloak

Up, Down, Right, Left, here, there Hashem is truly everywhere.....EXCEPT ON VACATION(right)

Well I hope you havent missed me too much over the last few days.

In this Edition I will discuss my opinion on Frum Girls On Vacation (FGOV).

Preface: I in no way am singling out any specific person that I know. If anyone reading this post takes offense to anything I write I truly apologize, but I am just going based off of stereotypes of what I, and most other people see on vacation. If you fit that description, then you can either take my advice or just completely ignore me.

OK where to start. There are many different types of FGOV's.

Group 1

I will first start with the "I am super religious but still want to go on vacation to a hot place with beaches, so im gonna go out and by new long sleeve shirts and skirts that reach the knees but will look good on a beach" girls. They usually dont have any guy friends with them.


When you head to Miami beach for winter break and you see a group of 4 girls. All sitting on the beach with thier blue and white striped shirts with sleeves to thier wrists. And grey skirts flowing in the wind, and you watching just hoping maybe the wind will blow the skirt up a little more. These girls just want to get a nice vacation on a beach and need to work on thier tans, yet they will never remove this clothing that they have on. If you took a match and lit thier shirt on fire, they would still keep it on in the name of hashem. You can also notice these girls as the ones who will never go past thier ankles in the water. You may think its cuz its too cold but really they dont want thier clothing to get wet and maybe become tight or see through.

Heres my issue with these girls. If you are really too religious to be going into the water, and take a risk of people being able to see your clothes wet, or any part of your skin.

Why the hell are you going to a beach for vacation?


Just stay home. If all you want is a tan, go in your backyard or central Park for some sun. Why spend money to travel to a place with a beach if you cant really use it. Also, if you really are that religious then you shouldnt feel comfortable going to a beach to begin with. Yes maybe you are covering up and being Tznius, but is anybody else doing this. Miami beach is a topless beach and plenty of young good looking men like myself will be walking around in nothing but a bathing suit. Why put yourself in such a situation that will lead to maybe tempting yourself.

Group 2

This is the next group. The ones that walk around on vacation with a skirt on, and sleeves hovering around the elbow but by the time the trip is over the sleeves have become just a bit shorter to help with that tanline. This group usually is traveling with guys or meets up with them at some point.

Example 1

This is the girl that we have all grown to love have we not. The frum girl just waiting to go wild. Everytime shes with her friends wearing less clothing she just wishes she can be like them, but holds strong cuz she doesnt want her other more religious friends at home to find out. While on the trip with her friends she will wear a bathing suit under her outfit. If the time comes to actaully go into water then we have 2 options here.

1. Some decide to go with the Surfer shirt and long board shorts

2. Some decide to keep on the full outfit.

But once are out of the water they will make sure to get changed back into dry clothing as to not show off too much of thier body.


In case number one, I dont mind that you want to stay covered, I respect that to a point.
BUT, when you put on those swim shirts, you dont realize how tight they get when you get out of the water. They show pretty much every curve of your body. So I am not sure what Tznius you think you are preventing, in fact it could even be worse then just wearing a tshirt.

For the girl who keeps her skirt and shirt on while going in the water, I have nothign against it except for the fact that I think you look like a retard. Why is someone going swimming or going to relax in a hot tub while wearing a long skirt and a long sleeve shirt. People are going to think you are an alien or something, and are allergic to water. May as well put on a pair of socks so I dont get turned on by your toes. Some people do have toe fetishes, just sayin.

Example 2 (same girls fo Group 2)

This example is when these group 2 girls are on a trip with just other girls. OR they are with guys and girls but have a separate time with just girls.

These girls decide that once the boys are not around and we are on a beach or pool with total strangers that hey Now I can just wear my bathing suit. I mean hey I have a great body, why should it stay hidden from the sun right.

Now please explain to me why its ok to turn on a stranger on a beach, who by the way may also be Jewish for all you know, but it is not ok to turn on your freinds? I mean cmon we are guys too, let us see the goods. Or is it that God doesnt exist on a beach when you are with your freinds.

I guess the questions comes down to this.

Why do you cover yourself up to begin with? Is it to be tzniut for yourself? is it to be tzniut in front of people that you know? Or should you be tzniut for Hashem becasue that is what you learned to do?.

If its for yourself i dont understnad how you can ever not be covered up, just because you are on a beach doesnt mean you dont need to watch the way you dress. If its for god, of course the same thing applies unless we go with the original idea of god only existing in non vacation places.

And finally if it for your friends, that us guys cant see you like that, cmon does that really make any sense. If some christian mcchristiansan can see you in a bathing suit then so can Menachem mendel.

So to sum up my view on the issue even though I could prob rant on about this stuff forever.

In no way am i telling you FGOV's out there how you should act becasue after all who am I that you should be lsitening to. But all I want is for you all to take a few moments and really think about why you dress the way you do on vacations. And this goes both ways.

If you do it truly for religious reasons and dont want to show anything I respect that. And if you truly believe that you can show skin I respect that as well.

But for you inbetweeners that I beleive are confused with who they think they should be. Think about it. Just becasue my friends at home would look down on me for wearing a bathing suit, is that really a reason to not do so, even though you would feel comfortable in one. Or Just becasue you are with friends who are wearing less, is that a reason to wear less to jsut fit in.

Im all about not being fake and staying true to who you are. Obviously finding out who you really are is a long and rough journey that some of us may never fully accomplish, but at least we can try and put in some effort.

And obviosuly I hope you all know what my true opinion is.

The less clothing the better!!!!!!!!

Gotta love my Jewish Girls Gone Wild.


Friday, February 4, 2011

New Member

If anyone is in the Heights (with Usnavi and Vanessa) for shabbat, listen to the announcements tonight in shul.
Thats right I have officially become a member of Mt. Sinai. It only took me 2 Yrs but I felt that the time had come.
Now I can go to all the really cool events that the shul runs, like all those awesome shabbat meals and Friday Night Tish's. or maybe even a few Melave Malka Estersons. Who knows, the possibilities are endless.
I do know one thing, that I will now go to the all female talent show coming up(the only reason i actually became a member is cuz I heard all members can go, is this true??)

Aight well I am not going to have time for a real post today before shabbat, but have no fear Pt 2 will be on its way shortly.

Just want to thank all my followers, I just hope you all know what you got yourselves into.

Shabbat Shalom and have a great weekend watching the superbowl. RAVENS 2012!!!!!


Thursday, February 3, 2011

Vacation Part 1 Douchebags of the World Unite

Up, Down, Right, Left, here, there Hashem is truly everywhere.....EXCEPT ON VACATION(right)

Well many of you may already know that I went on a cruise to the Bahamas in mid January.
Let me just say, Vacation is amazing. Being cut off from the world for 10 straight days without checking email is an incredible change of pace and such a cleansing experience.

Anywho, in this post I will discuss Frum Jews on vacation.
I'll start off with the guys side of things.

When planning a vacation that you will be spending with both jews and nonjews,
PLEASE REFRAIN FROM DRESSING LIKE A GIANT DOUCHE if you plan on wearing a kippah.(Otherwise wear whatever the hell you want, your on vacation ur never gonna see these people again for the rest of your life)

I completely respect wearing a kippah everywhere you go. But if you are going to be acting like a douchebag, do us other Jews who happen to be in the same place as you, a favor and not ruin being Jewish for the rest of us.

Example 1.
On my cruise there were many(waaaaaaaay too many) other jews on the boat. Who would have thought right, taking a cruise during the YU winter break. On the last night there is an event where they make you do crazy things in a competition, obviously most of the ppl are drunk. One of the so called "quests" was to have a guy come up with no shirt or pants on. Wearing a womans bra, with lipstick on, wearing heels and holding a purse. Low and behold one of the other Jews with a kippah(and who also had previously gotten his pretty short hair beaded on an island) gets up there doing this. Now cmon man, this does not look good for the orthodox community.

If you go to any public place ie.. mall, casino, sporting event, movie, and you see 3 or more men wearing baseball hats I would say there is a 90% chance its cuz they are Jewish. If you plan on doing stupid ass things like these, just put on a hat so they dont associate an orthodox jew doing things like this. It will prevent the Chillul hashem and not embarrass other Jews that happen to be around and now hate that they are wearing kippot as well and slowly try to slide them off without people realizing.

Example 2 also on cruise.
Guys first mistake, wearing kanye west sunglassses with the lines going through it.
2nd mistake neon green trucker hat
3rd mistake tzitzit hanging out.
CMON MAN. What are you thinking. I would be making fun of you if you werent jewish for wearing shit like that, but now you got everyone else on this boat thinking that Jews are retarded so when I head down to dinner in the restaurant wearing my kippah, i cant help but think that ppl are looking at me being friends with this guy and me being embarrased to be Jewish.

Not sure if you have ever heard of this, butttttt, you can always tuck them in. Nothing wrong if you all want to wear them all day but why would do be doing so in an obnoxious way. If you are going to proud of the fact that you are Jewish, then dont contradict yourself with the way that you dress. People are not gonna be like wow look how awesome that guy is dressed in that amazing outfit, and you know what makes it soo much better those strings flying everywhere and smacking my legs as he walks by me on the lounge chair tanning, its a great massage feeling. NO, they are thinking wow this guy is a big tool bag, nobody not even kanye the gay fish can pull off an outfit like that let alone a little jewish white kid. And why the hell does he have strings hitting me, and is one of the strings on each side blue, thats wierd. Jews are wierd.

So what is my final stance on this?
As an orthodox Jew and someone who wore a kippah and tzitzit at different points on the trip, all I ask is for some brains to be used. If you want to wear tzitzit hanging out then please dress like a nice jewish kid, otherwise just tuck them in, there is no halacha claiming that they must be hanging out to fulfill the mitzvah. In regards to the Kippah aspect, again if you are going to be doing something that would not be a appropriate for a nice ben torah to be doing, or even something you dont want your parents seeing a video of you on facebook, please dont be wearing a kippah at those times. Put on a hat, or god forbid nothing(only in the most dire situations of course).
So if you feel so strongly about wearing these proudly, please please please jsut dont come on a trip with me so that I can enjoy myself and not be embarrased half the time. Just go on vacation to a Yeshiva or something since thats where you want to be neway dressed like that.
If you really need to go all the way to the bahamas to see some girls in bakinis, just let me know and I can give you some websites to help you out.

Peace out for now, Next post will be discussing the Frum Girls on vacation.

Shout out to Mike P for being my first follower.


Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Well everyone. This was not supposed to be my first post. But I dnt think I can pass up on the oppurtunity. Tonight I met up with some friends at the Monkey Room in the heights for Happy hour. Eveything is going great hanging out chilling drinking some beers. 2 for 5 bucks by the way great prices everyday from 3-9. i feel like an infomercial but just saying they have a great happy hour. So there we are sitting having a nice time when a 90 yr old woman Joan come and introduces herself to us. We sit there craxking up at the fact that we are having conversation with her. Her daughter lives in baltimore and her son teaches at JOhns Hopkins smalll world.
Then she is leaving, but, she tries convincing us to walk her dog.
Turns out she is watching her grandsons giant german shephard cuz he is off at school and her daughter got into a car accident and left Joan in charge rediculous. After 5 mins of us all claiming we cant go, joey and reina make the sacrifice and leave with Joan to go walk the dog. 20 mins latr they return, and who is with them JOAN, they come back and Joan orders her 3rd beer of the night. Yes thats right 3rd, while all of us are on our 4th, but she is soooooooooooooooooooo old. She tells us about how she lived in Germany, and hung out with the Germans. She takes dance lessons and plans on meeting up with Reina for lunch tom at 1130 at Gideons, if neone here is readingn and want o meet Joan, now you know where to go. Finally an hour alter we all leave and Me and Joey walk her home. On the way of course she mentions agasin that her daughter live s in baltimore and the fact that she used to live in Germany and that frucht is a german name.
Other random things that happened. Reina spilled an entire beer on me, making it looke like I peed my pants.
The german shephards name was Bamboo.
Luwrence with a U. Luwrenc M. Ball is the name of her son in law that teaches at hopkins. I think that takes acre of everything from the night so far.
Anyways, sorry if some of this is incoherent I am kinda tipsy and this night was just way to rediculous.

Crazy Joan cant wait to see her around the heights more often.

For those who want, Monkey Room has happy hour every day from 3-9 see u all there.
peace out


Is this really Happening

Well people, I cant believe that I am actually doing this. Starting a blog.
Soooooo lame I know.
But hey it gives me something to do when I think I may be falling asleep at work or when Im bored out of my mind at home and cant watch any more episodes of Kim and Courtney take on New York.

In this blog, besides for spending time showing people how abd I am at typing,( i prob have like 8 typos already and am way to lazy to go back and proofread for it all) I will be throwing out my opinions on the world. Some of these opinionis will be the most brillinats ideas you ahve ever heard, while others are even absurd to me, but I cant change what I think.
I managae to go on many rants to my friends about topics ranging from judaism to grad school to girls wearing boots, and I am hoping that there are some crazy people out there that may be interested in hearing these opinions as well. Or you can all jsut get together and make fun of my ideas and creat new friendships based off making fun of me which I would be more than happy to have impacted a group of friends like that. I heard if I make 3 new friendships based of a blog then I am guarunteed a spot in Olam Habah so who knows, maybe I wont be going to hell after all.

So i hope you will all be checking this post board constantly and I will try to keep you all as entertained as possible until I get sick of having a blog of my own .

Check back later today for my first real opinion post.