The chicken rapture

Hello my esteemed colleagues.
It has been quite some time since I have blessed you all my abundance of knowledge of the world. I guess I have been too focused on getting ready for the end of the world this past week that i just wasn't able to focus on anything else.
Lets discuss this VelociRapture a bit here. So some 89 year old guy in Oakland is a preacher. He studies the bible many times, and then comes up with 3 holy numbers. After multiplying these holy numbers he gets 722,500 days. SO since the day of the crucifixion that was May 21st. Now how in the world do people start believing this shit. It took me until today when I felt reborn from surviving, that it finally hit me. Us Jews do this all the time. in 2 ways. 1st - how often do we follow someones opinion that we think know the Torah more than us without questioning it. They are the Rabbis they know what they are talking about and we blindly follow them sometimes without thinking. and 2nd - ever heard of a thing called Gematria, taking random numbers and making meaning out of them.

Topic 2 - Its been a while so im gonna cram a bunch of stuff in here
The Cereal Chicken Cook Off
Some of you may have heard that this past shabbat when we were preparing to die, some of us in the heights had a cereal chicken cook off. The rules were simple.
Make chicken using cereal as a coating.
5 entries were put in
1. Cocoa Crispies and Cayenne pepper - Joey
2. Special K with strawberries - Gitzy
3. Capn Crunch with a chipotle sauce - Doueck
4. Reeses Puffs - Reina (Aviva)
5. Capn Crunch and pretzels - Yours truly

Now I have been taking some slack for my lack of creativity since my chicken was very similar to that of a certain restaurant in teaneck, but hey at least mine was edible.
Every gave a valiant effort, but some fell very very short with the chicken really not quite hitting the spot. I will leave it to the imagination as to which ones were good and which were not, but with my homemade Garlic Mayo I was able to take the crown home by a landslide vote.

Topic 3 - Free concert tickets
Lets just say im on a roll right now. Things are going my way. Last week I was notified that I got 2 free tickets to see a live performance of Brad Paisley. This was in midtown on a rooftop bar and it was a taping for the Macys 4th of July spectacular. how can I say no to that right.
Then while waiting in line we receive yellow post its(who knew how powerful these could be) Everyone who received a Post it was taken up first and put right in front of the stage to be in the cameras view. And if you think it couldn't get better, I got him to sign my cowboy hat. So far so good.
Then this week I received notification that I got 4 free tickets to the Black eyed peas concert on June 9th in central park. So if anyone is around for Shavuot and is interested in walking down from the heights with me or meeting me in central park, I am accepting bribes.
The moral of this is I hope its the beginning to a great summer of fun free activities for all(but I guess if you want a shot at these things you may want me to sign up for you)

Okay thats it for now
Ill try to keep these coming a bit more often since people have been complaining they are too bored at work..

Some light entertainment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBq64t5zMjE